for optimum sleep conditioning, WE RECOMMEND 3-5 NIGHTS A WEEK
We can take over nighttime for you anytime you want. We can be there in the early days just to make sure you are getting the rest you need to function the best you can. We can help you set up your baby's sleep space and implement healthy sleep hygiene protocol.
Once we are there we can start our gentle sleep conditioning techniques. We'll want to start this no later than 4 weeks of age. If everything goes as planned, by the time your baby is 12 weeks old, we should see major progress and a huge shift towards longer stretches of nocturnal sleep!
We are available for questions/consulting anytime throughout the duration of your contract.
To learn more about our techniques - scroll down-
Once we are there we can start our gentle sleep conditioning techniques. We'll want to start this no later than 4 weeks of age. If everything goes as planned, by the time your baby is 12 weeks old, we should see major progress and a huge shift towards longer stretches of nocturnal sleep!
We are available for questions/consulting anytime throughout the duration of your contract.
To learn more about our techniques - scroll down-
Your sleepy newborn
It isn't possible (or healthy to even attempt) to sleep train a newborn. The first few weeks are a blur for most parents because there isn't really much you can do to improve predictability or create structure. Their wants are their needs and most new parents are stumbling through that time trying to figure out how it all works. The only thing you CAN do is create a safe sleep space and implement good sleep hygiene. We'll talk more about this below.
The first few days
Newborn babies will sleep anywhere from 16-21 hours in a 24 hour period, HOWEVER, they need to eat approximately every 2-3 hours, so the only sleep parents can expect will be a series of broken naps. Newborns are also notoriously loud sleepers. Even when they are asleep, they make lots and lots of noise. This is because they spend about half their time in "active sleep". They will grunt, wiggle, open their eyes and seem to look around, pass gas, and even cry out all while sound asleep. Parents may have a hard time sleeping themselves with all that noise going on.
It's imperative for your baby's health and well being to watch the baby not the clock for signs their needs are being met during this time. It's normal for a baby to lose weight in the first few days (not over 10% of birth weight) and be back to birth weight within the first couple of weeks. They should gain about an ounce per day for the first month. Talk to your doctor more about what that should look like for your baby.
It's imperative for your baby's health and well being to watch the baby not the clock for signs their needs are being met during this time. It's normal for a baby to lose weight in the first few days (not over 10% of birth weight) and be back to birth weight within the first couple of weeks. They should gain about an ounce per day for the first month. Talk to your doctor more about what that should look like for your baby.
Days 7 - 21
Your baby should be having a minimum of 6-8 wet and 3-4 stool diapers per day. (urine should be pale and stool may be yellow and seedy, watery and loose or more of a peanut butter consistency.) Your baby should have a slightly predictable routine by now and it's a good time to begin to implement good sleep hygiene.
Sleep Hygiene and your baby's sleep environment
Even though children don't learn to speak and form words until around 9-18 months of age, saying their first word is actually the 3rd stage of child language development. Babies' brains begin to process information far before we see implementation of those skills. Infant sleep works the same way. We have to lay a lot of groundwork if we are to expect a baby to sleep through the night by 12 - 20 weeks. Think of sleep hygiene as the first stage of sleep development.
Create a sleep space
- Keep it dark (Ditch the night light and use black out curtains. If you have to use a light to see, make it a red one that won't interfere with melatonin production (your baby won't produce it until 9-12 weeks but it will also help you settle back down at night)
- Keep it quiet and use a quiet sound machine to drown out other household noises (Keep the sound on low (under 50 decibels no louder than a quiet conversation or shower running and at least 6 feet from baby's bed to protect your baby's hearing)
- Keep it cool (Babies sleep best with the temp set between 68 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit.)
- Use a swaddle until baby begins to roll over (Swaddles make babies feel safe a secure and keep their startle reflex from waking them up. Make sure they have plenty of time during the day they are unswaddled too. They'll need to discover how to control their little hands)
- Use a pacifier (Newborns - 6 months have an incredibly strong instinct to suck and most need non-nutritive sucking. It helps calm/comfort them and research shows pacifier use reduces the risk of SIDS)
- Skip the synthetics (Baby's clothing should be soft and breathable. Fabrics like cotton or bamboo are ideal. Make sure the sheets are breathable too)
- Keep it safe!! (There shouldn't be anything on your baby's sleep space other than a mattress and a sheet. No loose blankets, bumper pads or pillows please. Babies should be put to sleep on their backs.) AAP safe sleep recommendations
Babies are born conditioned to sleep on or next to a parent
Most newborns feel more comfortable being held. By holding your baby snugly, you are mimicking the womb they are used to. They are close to your beating heart, your breath and a warm body. It's natural for them to fall asleep while being held. At birth, your baby is already conditioned to sleeping on you, that's why it takes an equal amount of conditioning to get them to sleep on their own. It's all they've ever known. Lying on a flat surface is new to them.
Sleep conditioning with under the moon
Over the first few weeks, you'll want to make sure your baby spends plenty of time on their sleep surface. Let them get used to lying down and just hanging out there, even if they are not sleeping. If they are asleep, try to resist the urge to pick them up right away if they wiggle, grunt, make noise or even cry out. Make sure they are actually awake since they can do all of that during active sleep. There are many nuances to sleep conditioning and transitions happen quickly. We make lots of observations and look for subtle milestones each time we are with your baby before moving to the next step.
All of our methods are not only "no-cry" but actually "anti-cry" techniques. Our goal is to keep your baby as calm as possible at night so they remain in a very relaxed and sleepy state. We do a lot of hovering over your baby's bed to make sure their needs are met before they become upset. We keep track of feeding routines so we can feed your baby as soon as they start to stir. We don't want them waking up hungry and frantic making it difficult to settle them again. We try to comfort your baby on their sleep surface as much as possible just so they are used to being there. If they become upset and need to be picked up, we do our best to calm them as quickly as possible to minimize stimulation. We keep feeding and diaper changes as dark and quiet as possible to keep your baby calm and relaxed.
There's more to it but these are the basics. As your baby begins to produce melatonin and develop a circadian rhythm around 10-12 weeks, they will favor nocturnal sleep and some babies will naturally sleep 9-12 hours between 3-4 months.
All of our methods are not only "no-cry" but actually "anti-cry" techniques. Our goal is to keep your baby as calm as possible at night so they remain in a very relaxed and sleepy state. We do a lot of hovering over your baby's bed to make sure their needs are met before they become upset. We keep track of feeding routines so we can feed your baby as soon as they start to stir. We don't want them waking up hungry and frantic making it difficult to settle them again. We try to comfort your baby on their sleep surface as much as possible just so they are used to being there. If they become upset and need to be picked up, we do our best to calm them as quickly as possible to minimize stimulation. We keep feeding and diaper changes as dark and quiet as possible to keep your baby calm and relaxed.
There's more to it but these are the basics. As your baby begins to produce melatonin and develop a circadian rhythm around 10-12 weeks, they will favor nocturnal sleep and some babies will naturally sleep 9-12 hours between 3-4 months.
A few tips
- Choose an 11 - 12 hour period for your "baby's BIG sleep" (Start with the time you want your baby to get up in the morning, usually when the family is up and going for the day... Up at 6 - 7 am, then bedtime is around 7 pm.)
- "Baby's big sleep" just means that you are following sleep hygiene practices during this 12 hour period. It does NOT mean that your baby won't wake up to eat, or need a diaper change or need to be comforted. It just means you are keeping stimulation at a minimum, keeping it dark and quiet and trying to lay baby back down on their sleep surface during those hours.
- Have a consistent bedtime and wake up routine (Even if you've had an absolute garbage night, each morning, at the same time, go in, let in the natural light, tell your baby "good morning! It's time to wake up!" pick them up and start your day. Each night start a wind down routine with a bath, feeding, book or song and a diaper change then try and lay baby down awake and say "Good night, it's time for sleep." Your baby may wiggle, grunt, make noise and babble as they work their way to sleep. Stay consistent even on weekends and vacation. Your baby may not adapt easy and inconsistency may result in regression. Routines need to happen in the same place at the same time every day. This way every time you sit in the rocking chair in the nursery and read the same book, baby knows it's bedtime and expects to go to bed.
- Understand that daytime routines are just as important as nighttime routines (We can't stress this enough. A baby who doesn't nap well is usually overtired at night resulting in a bigger fight to sleep and more night waking, as well as less overall sleep. Babies become overstimulated very easily which causes cortisol levels to rise. Sticking to an age appropriate nap routine and wake windows will help your baby with the big sleep at night. Don't let your baby sleep more than a 3 hour stretch during the day. If your baby sleeps a long stretch, we want it to be at night.
- Pay attention to calories! (Babies who are not getting enough daytime calories will not be able to forgo eating at night. After 1 month of age, babies should eat 2 -2.5 ounces of human milk or formula per pound of body weight in a 24 hour period. During the daytime, make sure your baby eats at least every 3 hours and offer an extra feeding before the big sleep, so they can 'tank up'. When Babies who are used to a structured eating routine tend to sleep longer at night. Try to be consistent in the amount of milk baby takes each time. Expect your baby to double their birth weight and be 12-14 lbs before they drop all the nighttime feeds.
- Try to avoid unsustainable sleep associations (There are going to be times when you are just trying to survive the early weeks and you'll find yourself comforting your baby by holding, rocking, bouncing, etc just to make it. That's ok. Just remember, your baby's needs will change quickly, keep trying to lay them down or use a sleep association that will help you transition in that direction. We can help you if you feel stuck.