The doula line of work is very interesting... and very different than what most people think.
We are in the business of support. We are basically making a living at loving people (which I love!) <3 From the outside looking in, the job of a doula is romanticized. People always say "That must be very rewarding." AND......... That's it. Being a doula IS very rewarding. It's my dream job. It's my passion. It's amazing and beautiful work. However... The vast majority of doulas don't support each other. Doulas will RIP each other apart for not agreeing on business practices or birth philosophy. They don't trust their clients to make decisions for themselves. They don't trust providers (OBs, nurses, hospital staff). They think they know the best way to birth, and will share that with you in a way that makes you feel "wrong" for making any other decision. Many doulas have no interest in serving a client who chooses an epidural...or a doctor she doesn't like... or a hospital she doesn't like... or a hospital at all... or someone who chooses an induction or a c/section... and on and on and on. I LOVE natural birth... when it's my client's choice and she is empowered by that choice. I LOVE working in birth centers with midwives... When my client is 100% empowered by that choice. I LOVE working with OBs, with clients planning epidurals, or c/sections, or induction, or ALL the interventions WHEN IT's HER CHOICE and she is EMPOWERED by those choices... because it makes her feel SAFE and SATISFIED with her experience. IT's not for me to say what should and should not make a woman feel safe at HER birth. I have seen MAGIC at natural births, planned epidural births, and c/sections alike. I have seen women BEAMING and ECSTATIC, in tears with gratitude at ALL types of births. MY point.... There's this thing that doulas do... They sit around and talk trash about providers...and hospitals. They get stuck on things that are not 100% perfect and that has a major effect on the ability for things to change for the better. I will not participate in bashing a client's doctor or midwife. I will ALWAYS encourage my client to go and talk to their provider about their concerns...and be there to listen and help them know how to come up with a solution. I will meet my client where they are and not push them to do something or go somewhere they are not 100% comfortable with. Trusting your provider is crucial to having a satisfying birth experience.... But those are the dirty words. "Trust your provider" is not something many doulas are accustomed to. You know what else is dirty in the doula world? Trusting your client to make the decisions that are right for her and her family. REALLY trusting her... in a non-judgemental way. Support shouldn't be conditional...but it so often is. Not in my doula world. I can walk into any environment with absolute confidence that I can find something positive and peaceful....and support the family I am there for. I LIKE working with doctors, midwives, in hospitals, at home and at birth locations. I like having faith in those around me. I have mad respect for Obstetricians and CNMs, L & D nurses and CPMs who communicate and collaborate and work with my clients to have the best care possible for them. If a client doesn't trust her provider, I help her find someone she does trust... then we will all work together to give her the best birth possible for HER. But I will not plant fear, distrust, or hostility. I will not fuel a negative relationship between a client and her team. This I promise. Abbey Robinson Fort Worth Doula
9 Comments
1/13/2016 02:06:34 pm
I agree 100%. I think trusting your provider is possible by finding the RIGHT provider fit for each family. Then communication and trust comes naturally. Evidence based research, research on hospital policies and practices, And Q & A to provider can alleviate distrust and provide optimal support to any birth desires.
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1/13/2016 02:49:54 pm
Wow this is so well written! Thank you for speaking from your heart. I say this as I too have an agenda free heart, business, philosophy! Keep spreading the word. The best practice is ALL about the choices, decisions & wishes of the birthing family! I tell my families you have to start making these so very important processes a habit as that's how we become strong in our thoughts & beliefs as parents! ~ jonny diane, The RN Doula & Consultant 💗
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1/13/2016 03:43:54 pm
I agree wirh you on this post. I have had family believe if they weren't habing a natural birth they couldn't us a Doula. I hope this misunderstanding will become clarified soon.
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1/13/2016 04:27:54 pm
Bravo! As a doula of 20 years I could not have said it better myself! Doula HUGSSSS xo
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Peggy Shepherd
1/13/2016 04:30:35 pm
Love this..... trust is the answer. 35 years I have worked a extremely busy high risk unit.What I love about the only Doula that I know is give me joy and a perception of normalacy.She makes me happy. She is affiliated with a holistic obstetrician. .....She has taught me to be receptive, to most all patient's A few years ago I did a hyponobirth........I got so caught up in the process ,the calmness and the peace that I almost forgot about my responsibility. I felt like a family member.
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Patricia Brooks
1/13/2016 10:27:06 pm
Thank you for writing this article and exposing the dirty words. It allows me to continue to support my clients in the decisions they make after they have all the necessary information. Empowerment is crucial.
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Jenny Ross
1/13/2016 10:39:16 pm
Looks like you forgot the unsung heroes of any Labor and Delivery units, the RNs......
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Jamie
1/24/2016 09:59:18 pm
Abbey included them! She wrote that she has 'mad respect' for them! :)
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AuthorAbbey is a birth and postpartum doula and placenta specialist in Dallas/Fort Worth and a mom to 4 children between the ages of 26 and 13. Categories
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